The Ship called Britannia is Sinking

Not only that I haven't had a proper night's sleep since last Friday morning when I got the ‪#‎Brexit‬ news, I'm also starting to get traumatised by what's happening in the UK. I feel like being in a straightjacket looking at a whole country going down the drain committing harakiri:

- The Leave campaign was based on lies. The liars admit it and nobody seems to really care.
- The Leave people have absolutely no plan what to do now.
- The government is headless and has also no plan what to do.
- The opposition is busy with themselves getting rid of their leader.
- Xenophobia is on the rise, foreigners are being bullied on public transport, racist graffitis sprayed on walls, and a Polish community centre is being vandalised in London.
- GBP is on a historic low, prices are on the rise.
- The credit agency S&P downgraded the UK, other agencies will follow.
- There is a petition to get another referendum reaching 4 million signatures.
- Apparently, more than 1 million Leave voters regret their vote.
- It becomes also apparent that this was a protest vote.
- Demonstrations are happening, people raising their voices to remain.
- Society is deeply divided: rural Leave vs cities Remain, older people Leave vs younger people Remain, England/Wales Leave vs Scotland and Northern Ireland Remain.
- Scotland in particular but also Northern Ireland think about leaving the UK and stay in the EU, the UK as we know it might cease to exist soon.
- The Queen seeing her country fall apart is frantically travelling to NI and I'm sure it's not a normal routine visit.
- Brits abroad are scared of the unknown future ahead.
- Europeans in the UK (like me) feel likewise.
- Stock markets around the world are in turmoil, shares are falling freely.
- This inability to act makes the UK the new international laughing stock.
So may I ask in all politeness WHEN ON EARTH DOES OUR PARLIAMENT AND GOVERNMENT ACT AND GET US AND OUR COUNTRY OUT OF THIS DISASTER AND BACK TO NORMAL; WITHIN THE EU, THAT IS?

That was me on Saturday morning.... Let's hope for the best!!!

I won't be a Lumber Jack - my Fight against Canadian Windmills.

Being a management consultant specialising in process efficiency sometimes makes life more difficult. Let me tell you what happened with my Canadian eTA application, a new visa waiver programme for Canada, similar to the American ESTA programme. 

I booked a flight to Calgary, wanted to spend a week and a bit in the Rocky Mountainsm, hiking and stuff; and after having paid the air fare I went on the Air Canada website to find out about eTA. I went on the eTA website and applied. One question was: Do you take regular medication? And I instinctively knew there was a problem. I had some form of skin cancer last year and need to take a pill a day. I stood in front of a dilemma - should I lie and say No I might face the risk of getting caught at the border. Being stamped a liar I'd never be allowed back into Canada. Should I not lie, I knew I'd have to go through a questionnaire or so and it would not be as easy to obtain an eTA as it would have been if I had lied. 

I didn't lie, told the truth, and I got the following message: 

Your application for an Electronic Travel Authorization (eTA) has been received. A review of your file is underway. You will be advised within 72 hours of next steps regarding your application.

You can check the status of your application by using the Check eTA status tool. To do this, you will need the application number noted above and details from the passport you used to apply for your eTA.

72 hours it says. Well..... 168 hours later, this is 7 days, I received another e-mail from them: 

Status: Pending – Client action required

eTA number: V30786838x

Passport number: xxx

A review of your Electronic Travel Authorization (eTA) application is underway. In order for Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC) to continue processing your application, we need some documents from you.

Do not submit your documents by email. To submit your documents, you will need to create or log into your secure MyCIC account at www.cic.gc.ca/mycic. CIC will request documents from you through this account.

Once you have created or logged into your MyCIC account, you will need to link your eTA application to your account by clicking on the “Link eTA application to this account” button.

For future visits to your MyCIC account, go to www.cic.gc.ca/mycic. Select the “Continue to GCKey” button and enter your GCKey user ID and password.

During the review of your file, you are not considered to hold a valid eTA. As such, you should not plan or undertake any travel to Canada until you are advised otherwise.

Right, I have to open that link and sign up and submit some papers. I guessed it was the travel insurance or a certificate of what kind of illness I had. I still had that paper that I completed my radiotherapy sessions and was about to scan it. Whatever. I clicked on the link and an error message occurred. I tried with my Mac and at work with a normal windows computer. I always got this message: 

Server Error

403 - Forbidden: Access is denied.

You do not have permission to view this directory or page using the credentials that you supplied.

I was annoyed. I clicked myself through some website, Canada.ca, and found a link where one can report any system issues. I submitted my problem and received the following: 

Thank you for contacting Canada.ca.

This email has been automatically generated to let you know that we have received your message.

The Government of Canada privacy policies do not allow us to forward email messages on your behalf to any other Government of Canada organizations, programs, services or representatives.

We do not respond to correspondence that contains offensive language.

I waited for a day or so and received the following message: 

Canada.ca does not maintain the Citizenship and Immigration Canada website.

Information on how to report technical difficulties encountered with the Citizenship and Immigration Canada website or on how to obtain related assistance is accessible from the "Help Centre" section of the Department’s website at the following URL:

What do I do if I run into technical problems with my online application to CIC?
http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/helpcentre/answer.asp?q=799&t=23

Good Lord! I clicked on the link and opened up a help section and reported my problems. I got the following message back: 

*** Please note that this is an automated message. ***

Thank you for contacting Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC).

You may expect an answer if:

*   you have submitted an application;

*   your application has exceeded normal processing times<http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/information/times/index.asp>;

*   you wish to report important changes or an emergency situation;

*   you wish to report a technical issue with Citizenship and Immigration online services.

Please note that we will not respond if you have not provided all the mandatory fields in submitting your question.

For general questions on the Citizenship or Immigration programs,  visit the online Help Centre<http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/helpcentre/index-featured-int.asp> on our website<http://www.cic.gc.ca/>.

Submitting the same request multiple times will not expedite the processing of your enquiry.

The turnaround time for a response is of 10 business days for online technical difficulties and 30 business days for case specific inquiries.

Please note that Citizenship and Immigration Canada can only communicate with you in one of our two official languages: English or French.

Thank you.

Citizenship and Immigration Canada

10 days. I have to wait 10 days now!!!! 10 days????? Okay, I waited for 10 days. In fact, I waited for 15 days and am still waiting for resolving my IT issue I had with the site. 

Last weekend I called a phone number which I found on their website. I got something like the following automated message:

"Invalid number, no phone calls answered."

I was about to cry! Please God, I don't want to steal from the Canadian health care system, I am happy with the NHS. I only want to travel to see Calgary and the Rocky Mountains, and that only for a week. What on earth is going wrong there??? 

After 3 more days I received the following message: 

Status: Closed

Application number: V30786838x

Passport number: 

Following an assessment of your application for an Electronic Travel Authorization (eTA), it has been determined that you do not meet the requirements for an eTA. Please see the attached document for the reasons leading to this decision.

 Your application is now closed.

You are not considered to hold a valid eTA. As such, you should not plan or undertake any travel to Canada. Should you decide to travel to Canada, you may experience delays at boarding or on arrival, and you may not be allowed to board your flight or enter Canada.

I do not meet the requirements? I haven't had a single chance of doing anything but wait, wait for more than 4 weeks now. What's wrong with you guys in Canada? Can't you implement an online visa procedure and system and get your interdepartmental communication right?

Basically, that's it, right? My mistake was that I did not lie, telling the Canadian authorities about the pills I am taking daily. This triggered the whole issue, I am sure. 

As management consultant I can conclude the following: 

- No sufficient project management planning for introducing the eTA system.-

- No IT knowledge to send out links that actually work.

- No contact possibility

   -  e-mails can't be sent, other than via the website that didn't work.

   -  the call centre did not answer any messages.

- No communication link between their IT department and operations department. Those operations people should have seen that there was an open IT ticket.

- No time keeping. In both cases they exceeded the time promised to get back to me. 

And what are the consequences? 

- No holidays for me in Canada.

- Loss of money, as I will have to return the ticket. Also, the eTA had to be paid.

- If I should I ever want to enter Canada again, I would always have to answer the following question: Have you ever been denied entry into Canada? I'll always be brandmarked. I will always have to explain to some immigration officer about this. And nothing is my fault. 

CANADA, PLEASE SORT YOUR PROCESSES OUT!!! 

One of my problems is, as management consultant I understand processes and know exactly when processes go wrong, like in this instance. The frustrating thing is, that there is nothing I can do. I could open a new eTA case, but I'd get the same over and over again - being denied, being sent a non-working link, being made to wait and wait and wait and nobody to talk to. 

I am hoping anyone from the Canadian Immigration Authorities will read my blog and do something about this situation. 

---------------------------

I posted this blog entry last Thursday, 25 January. I thought the case was over. No, it goes on. 

Also on the 25th I wrote this Twitter entry:

Thanks Canada. Feedback about ill-working processes en route to implementing eTA.  http://roland-brunner.blogspot.de/2016/02/i-wont-be-lumber-jack-my-fight-agains.html … 

@CitImmCanada

This morning, the 27th I have received the following message: 

Dear Roland,

Thank you for contacting Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada (IRCC).

In order to access your MyCIC account we suggest you to try this link: http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/e-services/mycic.asp

If you are still experiencing technical difficulties fill out this email form choose Electronic Travel Authorization - General and Technical Enquiries located in the drop down menu under the heading Enquiry,and include:  

Sincerely,

Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada
www.cic.gc.ca

I do still have my ticket, but I am somehow on the verge of losing interest in flying to Canada and am pondering whether I should simply leave it. My enthusiasm for hiking through the Rockies for a few days is dwindling.

Guys in Canada, you should really sort your inefficiencies and processes out, please!

I'll send another message to them to their twitter account and will also write to this e-mail address. If that doesn't work, I'll give up. 

----------------------

Today is the 9th of March and I have given up. I returned the airline ticket. I tried to get another eTA but when I ready "Were you ever refused entry into Canada?" I decided this is too much to bear. Somehow, I completely lost interest. It's just such a shame that they can't implement a visa IT system and get their processes right. 

----------------------

The story goes on: On the 12th of March I have received the following after I, in fact, replied to that one e-mail from the 27th. In that e-mail I copied in this blog link asking them to read through as I could not possibly write the whole shebong. I also wrote a bit about what happened. Of course, nobody ever read that blog entry (as I can see in Google Analytics). As a result I have received this automated e-mail, yes, yet another automated e-mail. All in all, I must conclude that I had to deal with such an amazing degree of incompetence that it's hard to believe if I hadn't collected all those e-mails as evidence. 

Status: Closed

Application number: V3078683xx     

Passport number:           

Thank you for contacting Citizenship and Immigration Canada regarding your application for an Electronic Travel Authorization (eTA).

The status of your application is: Refused.

In accordance with Section 11(1.01) of the Immigration and Refugee Protection Act (IRPA), an electronic Travel Authorization may be issued to a foreign national if he or she is not inadmissible to Canada and meets the requirements of the Act.

Subsection 16(1) of the Immigration and Refugee Protection Act states that a person who makes an application must answer truthfully all questions put to them for the purpose of the examination and must produce all relevant evidence and documents that the officer reasonably requires.

You have not submitted proof of funds, proof residence and itinerary details as requested on 2016/02/09 to be provided by 2016/02/19.

Please note however, that clients who do not submit required documents within the deadline provided, or clients who do not submit the documents that were specifically requested may see their applications being refused. As such, you may want to submit another eTA application, ensuring that all required documents are submitted within the timeline granted and that issues raised earlier are properly addressed.

You are not considered to hold a valid eTA. As such, you should not plan or undertake any travel to Canada. Should you decide to travel to Canada, you may experience delays at boarding or on arrival, and you may not be allowed to board your flight or enter Canada.

Sincerely,

Citizenship and Immigration Canada

I am wondering if anyone from Canada will ever read it. It's such a great case study of what can go wrong. 

If I should ever get a reply from them, I'll copy it below here. 

Just to link my travel blog to here, an entry from my last trip to Canada in August 2010. I flew to Halifax and took a tour for a few days, PEI, etc. 

http://rollsgoesworld.blogspot.co.uk/2010/08/halifax-nova-scotia-canada.html 

Constitutional Dark Clouds over Great Britain

Basically, at the very bottom of life, which seduces us all, there is only absurdity, and more absurdity. And maybe that's what gives us our joy for living, because the only thing that can defeat absurdity is lucidity.

Albert Camus

And absurd it seemed when an announcement was made today from the UK Government that, after the Chancellor was defeated by the House of Lords, the UK could slip into a "constitutional crisis".

The story, in short, goes like this: The Tory government wants to reform the tax credit system by sloshing them on the one hand, but on the other hand raising the minimum wage. Tories believe tax credits are unfair and costly. They introduced this new bill, a bill which was heavily opposed by the whole opposition. The biggest concern about the new bill was, that by abolishing tax credits the poorest of the poor would have been hit the hardest.

The bill went through the House of Commons, got a majority vote, and was passed to the House of Lords where it was expected to be nodded off, too. But it didn't! The Lords put in their veto and delayed the bill expecting an enquiry as to what the impact for the poorest households would have been in case the bill had been introduced. The Chancellor and Prime Minister were embarrassed and probably pissed off and announcements made publicly that the House of Lords overstepped their boundaries, hence possibly creating a constitutional crisis. 

In order to understand this whole issue better, there is a tradition dating back a bit more than 100 years that the House of Lords would not block any financial legislation. But it is a tradition, not the rule, nothing has ever been written down, and that's the important bit here. This is also why one can hear Tories say something along the line: How dare the non-elected House of Lords overrule the elected House of Commons! Yawn! Let me be honest here, I am so glad the Upper House did what they did. Not because I think the tax credit bill was unfair (I don't write about the bill as such), but because it shows victory of democracy and common sense! 

My alarm bells went off when I read the term "constitutional crisis" and that the government wanted to review the composition of members of the House of Lords and add a couple of Tories so they'd be silenced in the future. For me, this is the real crisis!

1st: There is not such a thing like a written constitution detailing exactly what the roles and responsibilities of both Houses of Parliament are. Traditions and a very fluid understanding of those competences are imminent and can barely be legally challenged by a "Constitutional Court of Justice", which also doesn't exist in the UK. What confidence can the public have in their government if Westminster can fudge their responsibilities according to their liking?  

2nd: Changing to composition of the Upper House just so they don't hinder the Lower House from making laws is in my understanding an act of treason. It reminds me of Putin becoming prime minister, only to become president again afterwards, and of Hitler flooding the Reichstag with Nazis and making laws to legalise dictatorship. This can't be right! 

What amazes me, whereas my own alarm bells ring like Big Ben on New Years Eve, the country seems to accept this and the press isn't overly concerned. Political Fudge Alert is on a minimum! And the Brits complain about the EU; duh! 

The House of Lords have already postponed several legislations in this legislative period. This is the only thing they can do really, postpone. But it's good enough to embarrass any government and have them revise previously passed bills by the Commons. This time the government speaks about constitutional crisis and threatens the Lords with reforms. Again. 

Let's hope those reforms, if they should ever come, which I doubt, are real ones and not just another drop of water onto a hot stone. Let's not forget what Albert Camus already said: Lucidity is the only thing that can defeat absurdity.   

ESTP - The Doer and Entrepreneur

Today I did one of those tests that bumped into me on Facebook. And this is the result: 

As an ESTP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things rationally and logically.

ESTPs are outgoing, straight-shooting types. Enthusiastic and excitable, ESTPs are "doers" who live in the world of action. Blunt, straight-forward risk-takers, they are willing to plunge right into things and get their hands dirty. They live in the here-and-now, and place little importance on introspection or theory. The look at the facts of a situation, quickly decide what should be done, execute the action, and move on to the next thing.

ESTPs have an uncanny ability to perceive people's attitudes and motivations. They pick up on little cues which go completely unnoticed by most other types, such as facial expressions and stance. They're typically a couple of steps ahead of the person they're interacting with. ESTPs use this ability to get what they want out of a situation. Rules and laws are seen as guidelines for behavior, rather than mandates. If the ESTP has decided that something needs to be done, then their "do it and get on with it" attitude takes precedence over the rules. However, the ESTP tends to have their own strong belief in what's right and what's wrong, and will doggedly stick to their principles. The Rules of the Establishment may hold little value to the ESTP, but their own integrity mandates that they will not under any circumstances do something which they feel to be wrong.

ESTPs have a strong flair for drama and style. They're fast-moving, fast-talking people who have an appreciation for the finer things in life. They may be gamblers or spendthrifts. They're usually very good at story telling and improvising. They typically makes things up as they go along, rather than following a plan. They love to have fun, and are fun people to be around. They can sometimes be hurtful to others without being aware of it, as they generally do not know and may not care about the effect their words have on others. It's not that they don't care about people, it's that their decision-making process does not involve taking people's feelings into account. They make decisions based on facts and logic.

ESTP's least developed area is their intuitive side. They are impatient with theory, and see little use for it in their quest to "get things done". An ESTP will occasionally have strong intuitions which are often way off-base, but sometimes very lucid and positive. The ESTP does not trust their instincts, and is suspicious of other people's intuition as well.

The ESTP often has trouble in school, especially higher education which moves into realms where theory is more important. The ESTP gets bored with classes in which they feel they gain no useful material which can be used to get things done. The ESTP may be brilliantly intelligent, but school will be a difficult chore for them.

The ESTP needs to keep moving, and so does well in careers where he or she is not restricted or confined. ESTPs make extremely good salespersons. They will become stifled and unhappy dealing with routine chores. ESTPs have a natural abundance of energy and enthusiasm, which makes them natural entrepreneurs. They get very excited about things, and have the ability to motivate others to excitement and action. The can sell anyone on any idea. They are action-oriented, and make decisions quickly. All-in-all, they have extraordinary talents for getting things started. They are not usually so good at following through, and might leave those tasks to others. Mastering the art of following through is something which ESTPs should pay special attention to.

ESTPs are practical, observant, fun-loving, spontaneous risk-takers with an excellent ability to quickly improvise an innovative solution to a problem. They're enthusiastic and fun to be with, and are great motivators. If an ESTP recognizes their real talents and operates within those realms, they can accomplish truly exciting things.

Flüchtlinge

Last week, I visited my 93 years old grandmother in Germany and we talked politics and what's currently happening around the world. We obviously hit the topic of the current migration crisis affecting us in Europe. Suddenly, she said something which I think should be mentioned: 

"Towards the end of World War II, we had to take up more than 1 million refugees from East Prussia, and 80% of all houses were bombed and destroyed. Somehow we managed!"

My grandmother Grete (on the left) with her 3 sisters Helene, Anneliese and Else.

She told me about local government people entering each home deciding how many refugees each family must take. One could not refuse. Living rooms were vacated, everyone had to take on immigrants according to the size of the property. My grandmother told me that they (her parents and their 4 children) had to accommodate a family of 4. My great-grandmother, then shortly living in Kiel, had to give up her living room in her tiny flat accepting 2 women.

Refugees did not have to pay for their stay but were supposed to cook and take care for themselves as they, like the rest of the population, received food stamps. In certain rooms with no heating facilities, holes had to be drilled into the walls and ovens put up. 

This got me thinking. 

Of course, no state should enforce taking on refugees into private households, I don't even think it's legally possible. After all, we don't live in a dictatorship like my grandmother did during the war. All I want to say is, there is still so much we as a society can and should do if only we put in some effort. 

That's it, no further comment.

Why #piggate matters!

A scene from Midsomer Murder's Pudding Club episode, where "boy" possibly committed a criminal act at school:

Anthony Talbot: Boy comes in here to help, and what do you do? - Make a string of vile insinuations!

DCI Tom Barnaby: Making inquiries, Mr. Talbot, not insinuations.

Anthony Talbot: I hope you're not one of those chip on the soldier types who always takes the criminal's side, Barnaby.

DCI Tom Barnaby: No, I'm one of those 'let's do the job properly' types.

Recently, I watched this old episode on itv; it was about a posh school club, called the Pudding Club. The name of the club sounded as absurd as what went on in there; young dressed up upper classy school boys behaving like total twats performing bizarre rituals. It was like watching Brideshead Revisited; after a while I felt the same urge Sebastian Flyte must have felt when leaning into the window of Charles Ryder and, well, barfed it all out... Clearly, itv was overdoing it again, I thought. 

DCI Barnaby said "I'm one of those 'Let's do the job properly' types" and in that matter the copper is undoubtedly similar to our Prime Minister. The latter does his job so properly, that in last week's PMQs I nearly fell asleep whilst he answered every question properly and promptly. It was all a bit too slick. Our PM felt very safe and secure on his bench.

Politically, this whole summer was boring, and even though Europe is drowning in refugees and migrants, this didn't affect UK politics at all. Theresa May was concerned about building an even stronger fence around the Chunnel, but that was it. AND NOW THE DEAD PIG! This is even better than itv's Pudding Club episode, far better. There clearly is a God - "Thank you, Lord, I love you very much. Amen!" 

When I went to bed last Sunday night I looked at what Twitter and Instagram had to say. People were so creative around the topic "sex with pigs". I sat in my bed and laughed and laughed and laughed, for more than an hour, passing from tweet to tweet. At some stage my neighbours knocked asking if I were okay. "Of course I am okay, I said, Cameron face-f*cked a dead pig!"

What makes this whole incident so funny for us mere mortals? I am sure in some social circles people will shrug and retort "Yes, so what?". I guess it's not so much the fact that he actually performed this stupid and childish initiation rite for that Gaveston Club, it's the fact that he got caught and published. It's a mockery of the English class system. He, who is so slick and knows all the answers. He, who thinks can take on the whole of the EU. And he, who is so sure of himself, who won the last election. Yes he, he f*cked a dead pig's face. 

And please, whoever reads this, please do what I did, go to a butcher and look at a dead pig's head and think Cameron. And think procedure: Did he pull his trousers down or was he naked with simply a bow-tie on? Was he erect or maybe got aroused whilst at it? Did he just put his "private part" inside the mouth, or did he actually commit the sexual act of combined necrophilia and bestiality by moving in and out? How long did he do it? How many people were watching? Was it embarrassing for him? Did he have to "finish off"? The catalogue of questions is endless. 

What I was also thinking: I can't wait for Wednesday's PMQs (not knowing that there was a 3 week break. Bad planning, Lord Ashcroft!). What will the Queen say to him at his next audience with her? How will he react when someone in the House of Commons suddenly shouts "oink" when he appears? I imagined the next EU Summit, and colleagues of his suddenly stop talking when he arrives. When people smile at him, will he from now on always think they think swine? 

Animals, funny enough, stick with their associated humans. When I see Corgie I think Queen, when I see Rottweiler I think Camilla, and when I see pig I think Cameron. 

The BBC and Downing Street are giving us, the public, the silence treatment hoping it would all go away. The BBC commits some sort of an act of censorship, Downing Street is probably clueless and says nothing, hoping the public will forgive and forget. And what would one want to do anyway knowing that somewhere in this world is photographic evidence? Reality is, for us it's the gift that keeps on giving. Once someone is called a pig-f*cker, this someone will always be called a pig-f*cker. Nicknames also stick. 

If Downing Street banks on forgiveness, then they are probably right. Of course, we forgive him for doing it, it's a funny prank and he was a student after all. And we also forgive him for all his drug abuse because we wouldn't want to throw the first stone, would we?  We will forgive him for f*cking a dead pig's mouth as much as we forgave Prince Harry for playing a Nazi and having naked parties in Las Vegas. The UK is a liberal country with a sense of humour after all.

This whole #piggate affair is not about forgiveness, it is about forgetting, and that's the bummer the PM has to live with, because nobody on our planet Earth will ever forget. It is up to David Cameron now who needs to decide how much of a laughing stock he is and how much he is going to harm the dignity of his office with his past.

Only the future will tell what is going to happen. Let's wait and see. Having laughed so much, now it's time to get serious!

DCI Tom Barnaby: Smothered by a meat pudding, flattened by the roller and bashed about the head. Not necessarily in that order.

Sergeant Gavin Troy: Think it could be accidental, Sir?

DCI Tom Barnaby: No time for jokes, Troy.

Russian Roulette in the UK's political Landscape

"One must strive to have the majority of votes on one's side: So do not offend the idiots!"
Alexander S Puschkin, famous Russian author and poet in the early 19th century, said that once and I have the slight feeling not a lot has changed in the last 200 years. 

When looking at the current political landscape in the UK, this seems to be the leitmotif of many of our political leaders; or do they really believe in what they are saying? I don't think I'll ever find out. But what I want to do is, to have a look at those people who call themselves political leaders, the men and women who head up our parties in the UK. 

Sometimes I'm wondering if she can sleep or whether
 she secretly cries when thinking about her governments.

The Conservatives:
There is David Cameron, the Tory leader and current Prime Minister. I remember the last but one general election and prayed to God the LibDems would form a coalition government with Labour, but they didn't; they have chosen the Conservatives. I struggled. And I feared for the worst. Listening to Cameron back in the days gave me goose pimples, that kind one gets when thinking about Hitchcock's Norman Bates shortly before he pulls the shower curtain open. 

After so many years, one gets used to him, one's nerves are being numbed, I'd even say one feels like being captured by the Stockholm syndrome, that sometimes I feel I actually respect the PM for what he does. Till he opens his mouth and thinks in terms of "Rule Britannia". That always makes me cringe again, it overrules my Stockholm syndrome towards him.  

My deepest problem with Cameron is, deep inside I agree with him - one can't spend more than one has, hence after the heavy debt situation he inherited, I am all for austerity, and so is he, and his Chancellor. And it's all about strengthening the economy, because a strong economy means foreign and domestic demand, this means more jobs, higher taxes and less benefits; roughly said. As stupid as the notion of "northern power house" is, but an evenly spread out economy is of course better than a highly concentrated one in the southeast of England. So yes, go ahead, please!

And let's also face it, Cameron waved this whole gay rights issue through Parliament like no other (Conservative) party leader ever has. Wow, something no Labour leader has managed beforehand. That's impressive. But, and there is a big   B U T   looming in the air, and this is this whole ill-fated dealing with Europe and Scotland, privatising big chunks of the NHS, and basically his whole elitist Etonian personality which disturbs me beyond belief. If it weren't for the EU and Scotland, I'd probably be a fervent Tory, but I simply can't; not because of different point of views, but of this immense stupidity of risking the future of our country. He doesn't oppose the EU because of a deep inner conviction, but because back benchers forced him to and he thinks he needs to stand up against that political scum called UKIP. 

UKIP:
I don't want to write about them. They are scum, they remind me of Germany in the early 1930s, they use exactly the same techniques like the Nazis did - nationalism and fear, hatred and blaming minorities. They have no room in my blog. 

Labour:
Last week Jeremy Corbyn got elected with 60% of the Labour vote. His 3 other contestants had to share the remaining 40%. I would say this is a major triumph. Congratulations to him! 

Labour went through many changes in the last few decades. I still remember people like Neil Kinnock and the like, those that basically had to stand up against the Tories and Thatcher in particular, till Tony Blair appeared; and like Phoenix from the ashes, a New Labour rose to power. Well done him. I was a Blairite back then. And I have never ever thought I could be anything left of the centre. I then moved to England and in the late 90s I even joined. Well done me, I thought. But at a time when Blair started to go into bed with George Bush and play war lord, I gave up my Labour membership, as I felt I could not support a party and government that did such a thing. We now know it was the most stupid decision ever made by that former Labour government. Many lives were lost, for basically nothing. And the imbalance created back then was the breeding ground for the problems we are facing today, with ISIS and the lot. 

Tony Blair was the role reversal of Dorian Gray. Pictures of his young self were still there, but he grew ugly over the years; not necessarily physically but politically. After he finally gave up, Gordon Brown faced the same fate as John Major did - both were dwarfed by their omnipotent predecessors. Miliband didn't get Labour back to speed. Now let's see what Corbyn will be able to do.

What strikes me the most about Jeremy Corbyn, he is so adorably anti-establishment. For my taste, politically he is slightly too much on the left, but I love the fact that he has backbone enough to (hopefully) remain the way he is and not change and become too politically elitist. I hope he doesn't kneel before the Queen, I hope he doesn't sing the national anthem if he doesn't feel like it, and I hope he doesn't stop seeing his voters in favour of representative duties for which we clearly have the royal family; the latter have nothing else to do in their 'job description'. The press attacks him left, right and centre about the way he behaves, but let me make this public now: The more the press rattles against Jeremy Corbyn for being anti-establishment and the more he remains the way he is, the more trust and faith I will have in him. Jeremy Corbyn has deserved a chance for success, let's give it to him! 

SNP:
The SNP is a party that was founded years ago with only one purpose and target in mind - to break off the UK and gain Scottish independence. And the peak of it was last year's referendum which was also their biggest defeat so far - they lost the vote 45% vs 55%. And let me say this, I am truly glad they did, as I would not want to live in a dwarfed England. Scotland enriches the UK beyond belief. After the referendum was over I was so relieved not having to listen to Alex Salmond anymore. His more or less daily infiltrations were too much to bear. He handed over to Nicola Sturgeon. 

My first reaction to her was rather negative, as it seemed to me she only chewed on stuff Alex Salmond already spat out. With him gone, leaving her the position as First Minister, she probably freed herself and was able to create her own image she wanted to be portrayed of. And blimey, did she do well! What I like the most about her is her "what you see is what you get" attitude. She is straight forward, appears open and honest and calls things by their names. One doesn't get the "Westminster bla" from her. Very refreshing. 

And then they triumphantly conquered the House of Commons in the last general election. OMG! Wouldn't Nicola Sturgeon be the best Prime Minister ever? Well, she wouldn't, because we ought not to forget, deep inside the SNP want independence. She would basically be like a vampire from the Twilight Series - officially feeding from bottled blood, but there is always this intrinsic need for the proper stuff, independence in this matter!

LibDems:
I have always been liberal because I feel tolerance is a virtue, and this is something I subsume in liberalism - live and let live. This is also a very Christian and Humanitarian way of looking at life. Immanuel Kant's 'Categorical Imperative' is nothing else but Jesus Christ's 'Love thy neighbour'. I thought the LibDems under Nick Clegg came pretty much close to this. I was glad when the LibDems came into power in 2010. 

The LibDems in the UK appear every 50 years or so in government and have just come out of such a vital part of their existence. They have never been overly visible and de facto left the country as a two party state - Labour and Conservatives. In the last coalition government I think they did good work; they kept the Tories at bay and didn't allow them to go overboard with Europe and certain other issues. I always liked Nick Clegg, for me he was the most trustworthy of all cabinet ministers, the most straight forward. Similar to Nicola Sturgeon he seemed to be a "what you see is what you get" person, a trait I highly appreciate. 

Even though they managed to manage the Tories, in the end they were eaten alive by them. They had the chance of a lifetime to gain a profile and they wasted it utterly. Whatever the government did was recognised as Tory gain; publicly, the LibDems were just some junior partners that got to eat the left-overs the seniors threw at them. In other words, they were too busy with themselves and in their situation that they probably never looked forward to a time after the coalition. They got punished badly, extremely badly, and rightly so, as I am afraid to say. 

The biggest disaster then was when Nick Clegg resigned. The only figurehead left actually left the political scene. He got a successor, his name is Tim Farron, but other than him being an evangelical Christian I have not heard anything from the party ever since. Evangelicals and tolerance has always been a contradiction in terms. It would be similar to a Thatcherite being member of a trade union. That's it, nothing else can be said about the LibDems - they simply vanished. 

Choices over Choices:
So where does this leave me with my choice of party I should go for, maybe even join? Sometimes I am glad I am not yet a British citizen as I don't have to think too much about who to vote for at a general election. But still, who would I favour? 

I think currently the decision making process it is more like "who is the least evil of all of them?" and I'd have to make a decision based on negatives. That's not what I want. I want to make a choice grounded on positives - "who is the best?" I am afraid to say, I can't do this right now.

In the ideal world I would wish the following to happen:
- I wish the Tories would give up their stupid Rule Britannia Attitude and feel more European taking on a leading role in shaping the EU and be part of it rather than against it.
- I wish UKIP would eradicate itself.
- I wish Labour would give Corbyn a chance and stand closely behind him, and that Corbyn moves a bit more towards the centre without giving up his ideals.
- I wish the SNP would feel more British, accept the vote, and stop splitting Scotland into two camps of Yes and No. 
- I wish Nick Clegg would return to lead up the LibDems, take this whole experience as a 'lesson learned' exercise and get the party back into shape. 

There are a few more years till the next general election. Maybe by then I will be British and have a 'positive choice' from all the parties offering to make our lives better ones and lead us into a prosperous future! Of course only the future will tell. 

PS: This morning, after I have finished my Tory part, I read about #piggate. I must admit, I haven't laughed so hard for a very long time. One thing is for sure, politics in the UK is and will never be boring! I can't wait for PMQ tomorrow.